When Wade crossed the road from St. Paul’s Comunity Church to the activity center among the crowd people who were eyeballing him. Now I know how a goldfish feels.   He understood it was a small town, so everybody had a healthy curiosity about a newcomer, and it would take a while for them to get to know him.  They should be used to it by now since people from San Antonio and other cities were moving there.

              Why did I get out of bed today?

              He knew why.  He woke up with a great need to go to church.  Maybe it was the fact he hadn’t been since Easter, or it could have been he had asked the Lord to help him the night before.

              Laughter coming from a couple of girls caught his attention.   A brunette girl around ten years old pushed Hannah across the field with Kelsey walking beside them.

              Shame filled Wade.   When Hannah talked to him the previous evening, he thought of his sister, Christina, and how she loved The Sound of Music.  The image of his sister dancing and singing happily came into his mind.  She would say, “Wade, watch me.”  His heart clenched in his chest, and gloom fell over him, knowing he would never see his sister’s smiley face again.  Poor Hannah had no way of knowing the similarities she shared with Christina.

              After he left the restaurant, Wade went home.   He slammed the door.  “You fool.  You were rude to Hannah.  What is wrong with you?”  He threw his keys on the vanity in the foyer, he went into the kitchen to grab himself a beer and put the take-out in the refrigerator.  Flopping down on the leather couch in the living room, he stared blankly at the wall with tears in his eyes as the memory of Christina’s body on the ground made in full front of his brain.  Her screams from his nightmares rang in his head.  That was the reason he clammed up when Hannah drove into the room.

              It wasn’t his sister’s fault; it was his.  He knew Christina would want him to be happy.

              Just thinking about his sister’s unselfish, loving nature, made him cry harder.  Shaking his head, he put his face in his hands.                    He chided himself that he hadn’t followed his mom’s advice to see a therapist or their pastor, but Wade thought he could handle it on his own.

              “What an idiot I was.”  Wade kicked the coffee table, knocking it on its side.  “I buried myself in my studies to forget my sadness and guilt.”

             He sucked in a haggard breath and vowed to overcome his guilt.  Wade knew he couldn’t live like that forever, and he couldn’t run from it.  There would always be a reminder of Christina, and he needed to learn to cope with losing her.   He needed help.

             After draining the beer, Wade rose and went to the bedroom.  Drying his eyes, he sat on the edge of the bed, not bothering to get undressed or to climb under the covers.   His gaze fell on the Bible that was laying on the nightstand.

             “Mom and Nana told me that if I had a problem to turn to God.”

             He picked the holy book up and glanced heavenward.  “Please, Father, help me forgive myself.  I need you.”  After praying in silence, he flipped through it to passages he thought would help him.  The first thing he read was Matthew 5:4.  “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” 

             Wade had read and heard that sentence many times in his life, especially after Christina died, but he never wanted to be comforted and healed as he did right then. With the Bible still opened in his lap, he folded his hands, shut his eyes, and prayed the Holy Spirit would wash over him and help him in the days and weeks to come.  After a moment, he began reading again, and in an hour, he drifted off to sleep, his heart a little at ease.

             Wade snapped back to the present, and he strode past the cedar wood structure and rounded the corner. He could smell barbecued brisket, sausage, and potatoes. 

             Looking at the food table, he saw a tall brunette man with some white on his temples, wearing a red apron placed a three-gallon yellow plastic drink dispenser on the end of the table.  A blonde woman put paper plates, cups, napkins, and plastic knives and forks near it.  A young man, who appeared to be in his early twenties with short, curly blond hair, placed another pan on the table and then closed the van’s back doors.

             They must be Kelsey’s parents and brother.  Hannah said they were catering.   

             Wade examined the couple.  Kelsey is the spitting image of her mom.   Well, except for the hair.   She has her dad’s brown hair.  The young man must be her brother.  They both look alike.

             A hand clamped Wade’s shoulder, making him jump a little. 

             “I’m sorry I scared you,“ John said, eyes twinkling. 

             “It’s okay.”

             John looked at his surroundings.  “What do you think of it?”

             Wade glanced around.  Five long picnic tables lined up in a straight row covered with white paper tablecloths and red and yellow flowers in clear vases.   They had built wooden stage by the fence, and four people busied themselves with setting up musical instruments, microphones, and amps.

             “It seems well organized.”  Wade glanced upwards.  “Not a cloud in the sky and the temperature is pleasant.  A nice day for a picnic.”

             “Wait until you taste the food.”   John licked his lips.  “Kix makes the best barbecue in the county.”

             “It smells great.”  Wade peered over John’s shoulder.  “Rose’s gesturing for us to go over there.”

             John followed Wade’s gaze.  “I guess we’re fixin’ to eat.”

             The two men moseyed their way to Rose and sat down.

             Pastor Kellerman stepped in front of the stage with a microphone in his hand.  He stood six feet, three inches, and had a lean form.   Out of his cleric robe, Pastor Kellerman wore blue jeans, a long-sleeved tan button-up shirt, and boots, and he reminded Wade of Barney Fife.   His voice, however, was deep and husky.  He had a talent for giving excellent sermons, incorporating his everyday experiences with the scriptures.   For the first time in years, Wade listened without nodding off in the pew or glancing at his watch every five minutes.

             No wonder the church was packed.

             “I’m glad to see a good crowd here,” the pastor said.   “I hope y’all will enjoy this afternoon.  As most of y’all know that all the money that will be raised is going toward extending the Sunday School wing, adding two more rooms.  I’ve wonderful news.  I’ve just spoken to the church’s treasury, and she told me the money from the ticket sales for today’s picnic along with the generous offerings and the money from the memorials in the names of our members of the church, who had recently passed away, we’ve surpassed our goal.  I’ve already talked to Marvin Braun, and he said that he and his crew will start adding on to the Sunday School wing as soon as possible.  Praise the Lord.”

             People clapped and cheered.

             “The money that we’ll raise in the silent auction will go to pay for new furniture for the new Sunday School rooms and new children’s hymnals and music.” 

             He pulled a sheet of paper from his shirt pocket.  “Before we pray, I’d like to recognize the people who made all of this possible.   First, I’d like to thank our women’s group for setting up the tables and decorating them.”

             Palm up, the pastor pointed to the middle picnic table.  “Ladies, please stand up.”

             Eight women with their ages ranging from fifty to eighty stood, and some batted their eyes.  The pastor frowned.

             Wade shook his head, feeling sorry for the older man.  He wondered how many of them offered to cook for him. 

             Pastor Kellerman cleared his throat. “Second, thanks to those who donated things for the silent auction.  You know who y’all are.  Third, I’m thankful that Scott Becker and his band, The Good News Band, have volunteered to perform for us with Kelsey Meyer as their lead singer.”

             People applauded and cheered.

             “Yay, Mama.”  Hannah smiled.

             Wade looked two tables across from his and couldn’t help but smile.  What a sweet girl.

             The pastor’s eyes roamed to a blond man.  “We look forward to hearing y’all.  Well, lastly, and importantly, I want to give thanks to the Meyers for waking up at the crack of dawn to barbecue and make the side dishes for us.  I know we are thankful for the food they prepared.”

             Everyone clapped.                                                                                          

             When the applause died down, Pastor Kellerman said, “Let us pray.   Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for allowing us to gather here so we can eat together and enjoy ourselves.  Thank you for the funds that will allow us to build two more rooms to Sunday School wing so that we can teach more children about You and Your word.  Please bless this food we’re about to receive.  Let it nourish and strengthen us to help us do your will. Watch over us in the days that that are to come.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

             Wade waited until the line shortened to get his food.   When it did, he got in line, and Kelsey came up beside him.

             “I guess you had the same idea I had.”  She got two plates from the stack.  “I hate long lines.”

             “Me, too.” 

             He took in Kelsey's appearance.  She wore a long blue dress with a silver cross necklace, and she looked beautiful.

             When his eyes reached her pretty face, he noticed it had reddened; Wade wanted to kick himself.  I probably made her feel uncomfortable. 
            Kelsey shifted her weight.  “I noticed you were enjoying the sermon.  I promise I’m not a spy; I just like to see people’s reaction to Pastor Kellerman’s style.  He is non-political, and we like that about him.  He stays true to the Bible.”

            “I thought he was refreshing.”  He smiled.  “I like that there wasn’t any liturgy, and the sermon was short.  By the way, I don’t mind.  You can look at me all you want.”

           Her face flushed even more.

           Sighing, he said, “I’m sorry for being forward.”

           “It’s okay.”

           “No, it isn’t.”  Kix narrowed his eyes.  “This is the food line, not the dating network.

           Kelsey’s mom elbowed Kix.  “Honey, chill.”

           “No.  Your husband is right.  It’s not the time to talk.”  He gestured to Kelsey to go first.  After filling two loaded plates, she asked her mom for help with the tea.

           “Sure, sweetie.  I’ll bring cups to y’all.”

           ”Thanks, Mom.”  Kelsey glanced at Wade and gave him a demure smile before walking away.

           After Wade got what he wanted, Kelsey’s dad glared at him.  “I’m watching you.”

            Wade took a step back, but picked up his tea with his other hand before leaving.

             He made it to his seat and noticed when John and Rose grinned and winked at each other.

              “What?”  Wade asked.
               Rose cleared her throat.  “It’s nothing, right, John?”

               John’s eyes traveled from his wife to Wade and then back to her.   Rose narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips, trying to convey her message.

               “Oh, right.”  John looked at Wade.  “Nothing.”

              Wade knew they witnessed him checking Kelsey out and their embarrassment.   He imagined that she didn’t want John to tease him, which relieved Wade.  He hadn’t been attracted to a woman for a while.  Now Rose probably wanted him to take his time without John’s interference.  Besides his mom and his nana, the woman, who knew him well was her.  She understood that while he was not shy around women-he always analyzed how to proceed with a woman.

              Wade shook his head and took a bite of his food.

            When everyone had finished eating, Kelsey and the band members took to the stage.  Kelsey sang, Come, Let Us Worship first, and her angelic voice captivated Wade.  Her long, curly hair blew in a gentle breeze, and the sun cast a glow on it like a halo.  With her eyes closed, she swayed to the music.  Her easiness in front of the crowd awed him.  Beautiful and talented.  

             After listening to three songs, he started to roam around the silent auction table.  He was bidding on items he liked, a long wooden bench for his dining table and a white metal garden cross for his mom, when he heard Hannah and her friend five feet away, cheering each other on at the corn hole game.

             “Nice throw, Brie!”  Hannah smiled.  “You got it in the hole.”

             “Here.”  The other girl gave her a bean bag.  “Your turn.”

             When Hannah threw it, she missed the hole.  She slapped her thigh.  “Aw, man.  Well, maybe I’ll get it my next turn.  You’re up.”

             Wade couldn’t help but compare Hannah’s reaction to missing a hole and what Christina’s reaction would have been.  She would’ve gotten frustrated and started crying.  Just yet another example that Hannah wasn’t his sister.

             “That was the last one.”  Brianna pointed to the desserts.  “Let’s go over there.  I’m hungry for lemon bars.”  

             Hannah nodded.  “I want chocolate pie.”

             After Brianna started pushing Hannah, one of the front wheels got stuck on a tree root.

             Coming in front of Hannah, he grabbed the bars of her feet rest, lifted the chair, and pulled her from the hole.
             “Thanks, Dr. Ramsey.” Hannah smiled. 

             “You’re welcome.  Just watch out for holes.”

              The other girl nodded.  “I will.  Thanks for helping us.”

              “Sure thing.”

              They waved and went away with tasty desserts on their minds.  

              His spirit had been lifted after hearing Kelsey sing and talking to Hannah.  He wanted to get to know Kelsey better and Hannah.  He needed to deal with his guilt over Christina’s death finally.

              I need professional help.   Wade brushed a hand across his forehead.  Perhaps I could talk to Pastor Kellerman.

              He made his way to where the pastor was seated.

             “Hi, Pastor Kellerman.” 

             “Hey.”  Pastor Kellerman studied Wade for a few seconds and then snapped his fingers.  “Wade, right?” 

             “Yes, sir.”

             “It was nice to see a fresh face in the congregation.  I hope that it wasn’t boring.”

             Wade shook his head.  “I enjoyed your sermon.  It was one of the best ones that I heard in a long time.”

             “Thank you.”

             Wade shoved his hands in his pockets and fiddled with his keys. He lowered his gaze to the grass and up again.

             The pastor tilted his head.  “Is something on your mind?”

             “Yes.”  Wade swallowed hard.  “I know you don’t know me, but I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

             “Sure.  That’s part of my job,” Pastor Kellerman said, pulling a card from a shirt pocket.  “You can call me to set up an appointment or come by later.  I’ve time.”

             “I’ll call you,” Wade accepted the card and tucked it in his pant pocket.  “Thank you.”

             “Anytime.” 

             Someone called the pastor, and he held his index finger up, signaling for that person to wait.

             “I have to go,” Pastor Kellerman said, shrugging.  “I’m sorry.  Call me anytime.”

             After the pastor left, John strode over to Wade.  “Are you ready to go?  Rose’s tired.”

             “Yeah.  Let’s go.” 

***

             While she sang, Kelsey witnessed Wade helping Brianna and her daughter get unstuck.   She was grateful, although she knew someone else would have helped.

              Kelsey didn’t want to admit it, but she felt an attraction to Wade.

              Shuddering as she remembered earlier when he glanced over, her body flushed.  She hadn’t gotten that way in a long time.  She told herself that it meant nothing.

              When Tracey touched her arm and got her attention, she mouthed, “Keep up.”

Realizing she missed a line of the song, Kelsey blushed and forced herself to concentrate on singing.

 

***

               Everyone had left, and Hannah went over to Tracey and Scott’s house.  Kelsey helped her parents and brother load up the tables, pans, and tea dispensers.

               She put an empty pan in the van.  “We don’t have that much food left.”

               Her mom nodded.  “Our church has grown since Pastor Kellerman came."

               Travis looked at Kelsey.  “Sis, who was that new guy?”

               “I supposed you mean the one with the raven hair.”

               “Yeah, the one dad kept glaring at.”

               “His name is Dr. Wade Ramsey.” She turned to her dad and put her hands on her hips.  “Dad, why were you doing that?”

               “I didn’t like the way he was ogling you.”

               She arched an eyebrow.  “Ogling?  Really, Dad, who says that anymore?”

               Her mom shook her head.  “Kix, you can’t dislike every man who thinks Kelsey is attractive.”

               “I don’t.  Just the new ones I don’t know.  I don’t think I need to remind you the last time a newcomer was interested in our daughter.”

               “Wade might be different from Parker.”  Her mom put her hands on her hips.  “He has the Werners to vouch for his character.  They have been our good friends for thirty years since they moved here from Fort Worth, so I’m willing to give him a chance.”

               “He and Hannah seemed to like each other.”  Travis put the last table in the van.  “I saw him helping her.  You can do worse.”

               Kelsey sighed.  “I’m not ready to get involved with anyone.”

               Her mom folded her arms.  “I saw how you looked at him while you were singing, and it looked like you were interested in him.”

               Kelsey’s face heated.  Ignoring her parents' and brother’s looks, she busied herself with gathering the trash bags and tossed them in the dumpster.

               When they loaded everything up, she headed toward her rental car and drove to pick up Hannah, avoiding more talk about Wade.