“Come in, Wade.”  Pastor Kellerman stepped aside, so Wade could enter the parsonage.

              “Thanks.”  Wade rubbed his palms on his pants and swallowed hard.  I need to do this.  He can help me.  I don’t need to be nervous. 

              The pastor gestured toward the living room.  “I think we will be comfortable in there.”

              Wade followed him into the suggested room.  It was a big room.  The walls were white with a few paintings of Jesus and Colorado Mountains hung on them.  The beige couch sat alongside a wall and the coffee table had been placed in front of it.  An easy chair sat three feet across from the couch. 

              “Please, sit down anywhere you like.”

              Since he only had two choices, he opted for the couch.  The pastor sat in his easy chair.

              “Would you like something to drink?” Pastor Kellerman asked.

              “No, thank you, sir.”

              “I’m sorry we had to meet here.  My office at the church is being repainted and getting new carpet.  It’s a mess.”

              Wade nodded.  “It’s okay.”

              After a long pause, the pastor said, “I’m glad you called.  Last week, I could tell something was weighing on your mind.”

               He sighed.  “It has been for fifteen years.”

               Pastor Kellerman leaned forward, clasping his hands.  “That long?  Why didn’t you seek help before?”

               “I was stubborn.”

               “Hmm.  And now you want to work through it?”

               "Yes.”  He fiddled with his college ring, mustering up the courage to continue.  “You see, Pastor, I can’t live with this guilt anymore.  It was easy when I was in college and medical school, but now-.”  He bit his lip.  “I found myself drawn to a woman I met here.  I know I have only just met her, but she makes me want to deal with my demons.  For her daughter.”

               The pastor rubbed his chin.  “Do you mean Kelsey and Hannah?”

                “Yes, sir.” Wade shifted on the couch.  “How did you know?”  

                 “Because there aren’t that many single mothers in Kirchville.”  He chuckled.  “And you are too young to fall prey to the town’s widows.  Besides, I saw you admiring her as she sang at the picnic.”

                 “Yeah.” Wade smiled.  “She has an angelic voice.”

                 The pastor nodded and smiled as well.  “That she does.  All of the Meyers can sing.” He cleared his throat.  “Well, would you begin to tell me why you feel guilty?”

                 Wade glanced at a picture of Jesus knocking at a door, said a silent prayer for strength, and then looked back at the pastor.  “I had a little sister named Christina.  She was eight years younger than me.  When she was born, I appointed myself as her protector.  Later, we found out she was mentally disabled, and as hard as it was to accept, we still loved her.”  He smiled.  “She was so sweet, pure, and trusting.  She loved everybody.”

                 Pastor Kellerman nodded, two fingers pressed against his lips.  “What happened to Christina?”

                 He lowered his eyes to the floor.  “Christina died on my watch.  She went upstairs while I was asleep, fell from the balcony and broke her neck.  I saw the iron railing on the ground.  The French doors were supposed to be locked.”

                 “And you blame yourself?”

                 “Yes.”

                 Pastor Kellerman let out a sigh.  “You know, no matter how many people I counsel after losing a young child like your sister, it doesn’t get any easier.”  He paused.    “I know this happened fifteen years ago, but for you, it’s like it occurred yesterday.  Am I right?”

                 “Yes, and I can’t move on.”  Wade rubbed his eyes.  “Every time I see a blonde girl with brown eyes like Hannah, I can’t help but think about Christina and how I failed her.”

                 “It’s not your fault.”

                 He pursed his lips.  “I still have nightmares of that night.  Only I’m awake when she falls, and I try to save her, but I’m always too late.  I don’t get them often, just when something big happens to me.”

                 The pastor made his fingers into a steeple.  “It sounds like you subconsciously feel guilty that not only you’re alive, but you’re succeeding in life while Christina never will.  People would go crazy by wondering if they had done things differently than it would be okay all the time.  Unfortunately, we can’t go back, but you can live your life for the two of you.  I bet she’s in Heaven looking down on you and is disappointed you’re still blaming yourself for her death.”

                 “You’re right.”  He leaned back against the couch.  “Christina felt bad whenever we were sad.”

                 “I’d like to help you to work through your guilt,” Pastor Kellerman said.  “If that’s alright with you.”

                 “I would like that.”

                 “I know of someone who can help you too.”

                  Wade furrowed his brow.  “Who?”

                  “Hannah.”  The pastor smiled.  “She can brighten up anyone’s day.”

                  He nodded.  “Yes, Hannah sure can.”

                  “I’ll ask Kelsey if she can spend time with you.”

                  Wade’s heart leaped at the opportunity of spending time with them, but he wondered if it was going too fast.  “I don’t want to bother Kelsey.  I know how busy she is.”

                   “She loves helping people.”  Pastor Kellerman’s eyes sparkled with mischief.  “Besides, I believe the three of you will be good for each other.  Leave it to me.”

***

                  Busy filling her customers’ orders and getting more blueberry muffins and cherry and cheese Danishes from the ovens, Kelsey didn’t notice when Pastor Kellerman came in until her mom pointed at him.

                “He wants to speak to you.”  Her mom walked behind the display cases.  “I’ll take over while you talk to him.”

                Kelsey furrowed her brows, wondering what he wanted to discuss with her.  She poured herself a mug of coffee, then approached the booth where Pastor Kellerman waited, sipping his.  He wore blue a warm running suit, and with his white hair, reminding her of a smurf.

                “Hey, pastor.”  She sat down.  “Mom said you wanted to talk to me.”
                “That was fast.”

                Kelsey shrugged.  “My mom taught me it was rude to keep your guest waiting too long.”

                They sat on opposite sides of the table, drinking their coffee in silence for a few minutes.  “I guess you’re wondering why I want to talk to you.”

                “Yes, I am.”  Kelsey set her coffee down and looked at him.  “It must be important.”

                Pastor Kellerman nodded.  “I believe you’ve met John and Rose’s godson, Dr. Wade Ramsey.”

                 “Yes.”  She gave him a wry smile.  “He ran into me after he moved here.”

                 “I heard about that.  I’m glad no one was hurt.”

                 “Me, too.”  Kelsey glanced at her van through the window.  “Nick did a good job fixing the van.”

                 “Mm-umm.”  He took another sip.  “Back to Wade.  He came to me a couple of weeks ago asking me for help dealing with his guilt of a loved one’s death.  I’m hoping Hannah might help him get past it.”

                 “Oh, man.  It’s painful losing someone you love.”  She tilted her head.  “Why does Wade feel guilty, and why do you want my daughter to help him?”

                Pastor Kellerman put his elbows on the table, clasped his hands together, and pressed both of his index fingers against his lips.  “Wade blames himself for his sister, Christina’s death fifteen years ago.  He was watching her, and when he fell asleep, she went on her balcony and the railing gave away, making her fall and break her neck.”

                “But it was an accident.”

                “I know, but there’s more to this story.”  He rubbed his chin.  “Wade asked me to leave some things out.  He wants to tell you the rest himself in his own time.”

                Her thoughts went back to Hannah and wondered how she fit into this situation.  I guess I need to ask again.

                “How can Hannah help?  She’s just a kid.”

                “A very special one,” he said.  “I’d like for Hannah to spend time with Wade.  I think it could help him.”

                “How?  My daughter can’t replace Christina.”

                “True.”  The pastor drummed his fingers on his mug and pursed his lips, thinking.  A moment later, he said, “Hannah reminds Wade of his sister, so maybe along with my continuing counsel, she can make him see Christina’s death wasn’t his fault.  He’s making excellent progress.  I believe your daughter can get him over the hump.  She has a gift of lifting people’s spirits.  He needs that.”

“I wish I could lift her spirit sometimes,” Kelsey mumbled in her coffee as she took another sip.
            “What did you say?”

             “Nothing.”  She licked her lips.  “Why didn’t he get help before?”

             “He thought he could handle it on his own, but he was wrong.”  Pastor Kellerman scratched his eyebrow.  “It’s hard to see a young man carrying this burden.”

             “Yes, it is.”

             “Will you allow Hannah to help?”

             “Couldn’t you just tell him to pray and ask God to take away his guilt?” Kelsey asked.
             “It takes more than that.”  He glanced outside, biting on his bottom lip.  “Humans can make things more complicated than they should.  Even Christians, when they ask God to forgive them, don’t truly forgive themselves.”

             “And you think Wade spending time with Hannah could help?”

             Pastor Kellerman turned his head back toward her.  “Yes.”

             “Could I have time to think about this?  I’ll have to talk it over with Hannah too.” 

             “Sure.”  His cell phone beeped. He pulled it from his pant pocket and read the text.  “It’s my secretary, reminding me that I have an appointment with another parishioner in an hour.  I’d better go.  I need to go home and change before the meeting.”
             They both rose from the booth and made their way to the front door.

             Pastor Kellerman stepped outside and turned to her.  “Think about what I said and call me when you and Hannah reach a decision.”

             “Okay.”

             He smiled.  “Goodbye.”

***

             At her house three days later, Kelsey, Tracey, and Kelsey’s mom discussed Pastor Kellerman’s idea over coffee and apple pie.

              Her mom mulled it over as she sipped her coffee.  “I think you should let Hannah spend time with Wade.  I understand why you’re hesitant.  We live in a cynical world, but I’ve met Wade a few times when he came to the restaurant for supper, and he seemed like a kind young man.”

              Kelsey poked her fork gently at her piece of pie.  “I know you’re a good judge of character, but Dad-“

              “Pay no heed what your dad said.  He isn’t Parker.  Your dad’s always suspicious whenever a young man pays you an ounce of attention. ”

              “Kelsey.” Tracey set her mug down on the counter.  “We’ve been best friends since we were six and Hannah’s like another daughter to me, so I need to tell you the truth.”

              When Tracey paused, Kelsey’s anticipation grew.  “Well, spit it out.”  Hearing that it came out harsher than she intended, Kelsey apologized.

               Tucking her brown hair behind her left ear, Tracey breathed in a haggard breath.  “As Hannah’s godmother and her aide, I’m worried about her.”

               Kelsey frowned.  “Why?” 

               Tracey raised her hand, gesturing to let her finish.  “I know you’re doing a great job with Hannah alone, but you coddle her too much.”

               “What?”  Kelsey’s eyes widened.  “I do not.”

               Her mom placed her hand over Kelsey’s.  “Tracey’s right, honey.  You’ve been overprotective.”

               “Name me one time.”

               “Last summer,” Tracey answered.  “You won’t let Hannah go to sleep away camp for a week.”

               “I was afraid the counselors wouldn’t know what to do with Hannah.”

               Tracey shook her head.  “That camp was designed for disabled kids.  They make sure they hire professionals and screen the counselors carefully.”

               Kelsey nursed her coffee and gazed out of the kitchen window.   After a minute, she glanced back at her mom and Tracey.  “Maybe I do shelter Hannah a little more than most parents, but she was born prematurely.  I remember vividly seeing her hooked up to those machines and praying for three months that Hannah would survive.  So, yeah; I want to keep her safe.”

               “You can’t always do that,” her mom said.   “I know.  Don’t you think it didn’t hurt me when you skinned your knees or broke a bone?  I mean, with your brother’s heart condition, I watch him more carefully, but I tried to give him a normal childhood as I could.  I hated when people broke your hearts, but unfortunately, pain and heartache are part of life.   That’s how we learn.”

               “Yes, but-“Kelsey ran both of her hands through her hair and briefly stared at the ceiling.  “I don’t know.”

               Tracey scooted her stool closer to Kelsey.  “I think Hannah spending time with Wade would be beneficial.   Plus, don’t you always say that God puts people in your life for a reason?”

               “I hate when you use my words against me.” 

               “Yeah, but you still love me.”

               Kelsey smiled a little.  “Yes, I do.  Even when I know you’re right and I’m wrong-well, probably wrong.”

               When Kelsey sighed, her mom leaned forward.  “You can supervise the visits and keep an eye on him.  Like I said before, Wade seems to be a nice young man.”

               “Okay.  I’ll ask Hannah about this, and if she says yes, then I’ll honor her decision.”

               “Great.  Tracey ate the last bite of her pie.  “Now that is settled, may I have another piece, please?”

               “Sure.”  Kelsey chuckled as she cut her another slice. 

***

               Kelsey cleared the plates and pans from the kitchen table and placed them in the sink to soak.  Normally, she would have scrubbed them right away and put them in the dishwasher, but something had upset Hannah.  She didn’t say a thing after she came home from the Beckers’ or throughout supper.

               I’m going to find out what’s the matter.

               Kelsey walked into the living room and clicked off the TV.

               “Hey.”  Hannah turned to Kelsey and scowled.   “Mama, I was watching my show.”

               “The DVR is recording it.”  Kelsey sat on the couch next to Hannah and caressed her hair.  “I want to know what has you so upset.”

               “It’s nothing.”  Hannah pushed Kelsey’s hand away.   Putting her hands on the armrests of her wheelchair in front of her, she pulled herself up from the couch, turned around on shaky legs, sat down, and rolled to her room.

               Kelsey stood and followed Hannah.  Hannah parked at her vanity, had her head hanging down and tears fell on the wood.  

               Kelsey walked to Hannah and rubbed her back.   “Oh, sweetie, please tell me what happened.”

               When Hannah said nothing, she tried again.  “Did you and Brianna fight?  Did Landen tease you again?”

               “No.”  Hannah lifted her head, rubbed her eyes and snuffed.  “My principal said there’s going to be a father-daughter dance at my school on the second Friday in January.”

               Kelsey sighed after the realization hit her.  “And you’re worried your dad won’t take you.”

               “Yeah.  Daddy and Victoria might be still on their honeymoon.”
               “The dance’s months away.”  Kelsey tucked Hannah’s hair behind her ear.  “Remember, your dad has changed.   I’m sure he’ll shorten his trip to take you.”

               Hannah shook her head.   “I doubt it.  Yesterday I overheard Grandma Schell telling her friend Victoria wants Daddy all to herself.”

               “Well, I’ll talk to him, but it doesn’t have to be your dad you take to the dance.  It can be a male relative.”

“I think it’ll be when the Muellers have their annual veterans' charity ball, and Papaw and Uncle Travis will be busy catering it.”  Hannah lowered her eyes to her hands.  “Cousin Nick and Grandpa Schell can’t dance.  And Uncle Sam is old.”

               Kelsey let out a small laugh.  “Don’t tell him that.”

               Hannah swallowed hard.  “I guess I’m not going to go then.”

               Just then, Wade popped into her head, and Tracey’s words came flooding back.  She’s right.  Wade could be the answer to Hannah’s prayers.
               Kelsey put a finger under Hannah’s chin and lifted her head.  “I wouldn’t give up yet.  There might be someone else who can take you.”

               “Who?”

               Kelsey dropped her hand to Hannah’s arm.  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

               A smile crept on Hannah’s face.  “Do you have a boyfriend?  Yes, finally.  What’s his name?”

               Kelsey put her finger on Hannah’s lips.   “No, honey.  I don’t have a boyfriend.”

               The smile faded.  “Oh.”

               Caressing Hannah’s arm, Kelsey decided to change the subject.  “I made your favorite dessert-German chocolate cake. How about eating a piece? Chocolate always makes me feel better.”

               “Okay.” 

               Kelsey wiped Hannah’s eyes with a tissue.  “There.  That’s better.”

                “Thanks, Mama.”  Hannah embraced Kelsey.  “I love you.”

                “I love you, too, baby. “  Kelsey kissed Hannah’s cheek and smiled.  “Now, let’s have some cake.” 

 

***

 

                Standing behind her daughter, French braiding her hair, Kelsey decided to ask Hannah about spending time with Wade.

                 “Sweetie, do you remember the man who helped you at the church picnic?”

                 “Of course.  Dr. Ramsey.”

                 “Well, he has a problem.”  Kelsey twisted the ponytail holder in place.  “He’s going to Pastor Kellerman for counsel, and he believes you can help Dr. Ramsey too.  He came four days ago to ask my permission for you to spend time with Dr. Ramsey.”

                 Hannah spun her chair around.  “What did you say?”

                 “That I would ask you.  It’s your decision.”

                 Her daughter shrugged.  “I’m a kid.  How can I help?”

                 Kelsey smiled.  “By talking to him.”

                 “I do like him.  If he’s sad, then I’ll be happy to help him.”  Hannah gave her an inquisitive look.  “When do we start?”

                 “I don’t know.”  Kelsey put Hannah’s brush back in her denim purse that dangled from her handlebar and zipped it.  “I have to call Pastor Kellerman and let him know of your decision, and then I’ll call Dr. Ramsey.  Maybe next weekend.  We’ll see.”

                 “Cool.”  The school bus horn sounded.  “Oh, gotta go.”

                 Kelsey opened the door and watched her daughter descend the ramp and drive onto the bus’ lift.  She wrapped her arms around herself and smiled.  Pride for her daughter filled her heart because she wanted to help someone she had just met.

                 “At least I’m doing something right.”  She stepped back into the bakery area of the restaurant, relieved her mom, and resumed severing her customers.

***

 

                 While watching the Texas Rangers, Wade’s cell phone rang.  He looked at the number and wondered who was calling him.

                 Well, one way to find out.  He pushed the accept button and said, “Hello.  Wade Ramsey speaking.”

                 “Hello, Wade, this is Kelsey.  I got your number from Pastor Kellerman.  Am I calling at a bad time?”

                 Sitting up straighter on his couch, he paused the game and cleared his throat.  “No.”

                 She was silent for a minute, making him anxious.

                 “I’m calling because Pastor Kellerman came by a few days ago and told me of his idea.”

                  “About me spending time with Hannah.”

                  “Yes.  I’ve thought about it a lot and I’ve concluded that you two could help each other.  I asked Hannah about her helping you, and she agreed.”