Dr. Wade Ramsey entered Kirchville Clinic.  He bobbed his head to the nurses at the front desk, who were getting information from the patients.  “Hello.”  When he turned a corner, he sighed.  I was supposed to relieve him at eleven, and I’m an hour and a half late.  This isn’t a good way to start my first day.

            He quickened his steps down the hallway to the pediatric ward and entered the doctors’ lounge.  He took his white coat out of his bag and put it on.  When Wade straightened his coat collar, his hands shook a little as he thought about Kelsey.  He ran a hand down his face.

           “God, I can’t believe I did that,” he murmured.  I shouldn’t have sped up and passed a few cars.

           Wade thanked God he hadn’t hurt her.  Chiding himself, he got out to check on her and breathe out a relieved sigh when she yelled at him. He preferred yelling over crying.  

           His lips curled into a smile as he remembered her.  She was a classic beauty with long, curly chestnut hair, porcelain skin, and deep blue eyes.   Her t-shirt showed off her toned arms. 

          When they exchanged information, Wade scrambled his brain for words.  She brought back memories of his adolescence years when his hormones ran wild whenever his path crossed with a pretty girl.  His palms sweated, and his throat closed.  I wonder when I’ll see her again.  She has spunk.

           Hearing footsteps approaching, Wade turned.  A tall, distinguished man in his late sixties with silver hair and beard approached him, wearing a frown. 

         “Uh, John.”  He stepped closer, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.  “I’m sorry that I’m late.   I-“

         “Whoa, whoa.”  John put his hands up.  “I’m not going to berate you.  I know you enough to know that something happened to make you late.”  He clasped a hand on Wade’s shoulder.  “Did you have that dream again?”

         Wade glanced at a Winnie the Pooh plush doll sitting in the corner of the built-in desk, and he swallowed hard.  Christina loved that bear.

         Feeling John’s eyes on him, patiently waiting for an answer, Wade knew he could tell John the truth without facing judgment.  As his dad’s best friend since Baylor University and Wade’s godfather, John had witnessed their struggles for years after the tragedy.

         “Yes.”

         “I know.”  John let out a deep breath.  “You always do whenever you have a major change in your life, but-.”

         “I need to let go and be happy.  I know, but it isn’t easy.”  A part of the nightmare flooded back into his mind. 

         Christina fell in slow motion, and he tried to grab her, but he couldn’t.  “Help me!” she cried before going down into nothingness.  Then the image changed to where Christina landed, her body lying on the ground in an unnatural position, her long blonde hair covering her face.

         Shaking his head, he held back tears.  “I can’t blame the dream for my lateness.  I was unpacking some of my last things and-.”  Wade ran a hand through his thick, raven hair.  “I hit a woman’s van in my rush to get here.”

         John’s eyes widened.  “Are you okay?  What about the woman?”

         “I’m fine, and she is, too,” Wade said.  “Though her bumper needs to be repaired, I’m sure my insurance will pay for it.  Anyway, I’ll stay late and come early tomorrow morning.  I promise I won’t be late again.”

         “I know.”  John hooked an arm around Wade’s shoulders.  “As I told you last week, you’re going to have a bunch of people looking you over.  Doctors and patients are reluctant to change here in Kirchville.  Even though I know you’re a good doctor, you’re going to need to convince them of that.  I want you to succeed here.”

         “I understand.”

         “Good.”  John removed his white coat and hung it on the rack.  “I’m leaving now, but I want you here at eight tomorrow morning to do rounds with me.  My patients and their parents need to get used to you and you to them.”

          “Okay.”  He lifted his chin and locked John’s gaze with his.  “I’ll make you proud.”

          A nurse, dressed in pink scrubs, came toward them with a tablet.   “Dr. Werner, Ms. Meyer just brought her daughter in.  I know you’re leaving for today, but she asked for you."

          “Ah.”  John glanced at Wade, furrowed his forehead, and then turned back to the nurse.  “I’ll see Hannah.”

          “They’re in room five, and here’s her information.”  She handed the device to John and left.

          “I can see her.” Wade reached for the tablet.  “You can go home and spend time with Rose.” 

          ”No, Hannah is a special patient, and she might, um-overwhelm you.”

          Wade folded his arms.  “You mean she’s mentally disabled.  You know that I know more about people like that than most of my peers.  And you know why.”

          “Hannah isn’t mentally disabled.  She’s a bright girl, but she has Cerebral Palsy.”

          “So?”  Wade folded his arms.  “I’ve treated kids with CP before.”

          “I know, but-.”  John stopped, gazed up at the ceiling, glanced back at Wade, and sighed.  “Oh, heck.  Come with me.   Kirchville is a small town.  You’re bound to meet her sooner or later.”

          Following him to room five, Wade wondered why John was hesitant about him meeting this girl.  As they entered, Wade spotted the woman whom he’d hit earlier.  He cleared his throat.

          “Kelsey, Hannah, this is Dr. Wade Ramsey, who is going to take over my practice when I retire.”   John gestured towards Wade.

          Wade trembled as he laid eyes on Hannah.  She almost looks exactly like Christina. 

          The image of her falling re-entered his mind.  Shake it off, man.

          “Wade, this is Kelsey Meyer and her daughter, Hannah Schell.”

          Wade smiled at the girl.  “I’m pleased to meet you, Hannah.”  He turned to Kelsey and extended his hand.   “Hi again.”

          She shook his hand.  “You, again?”

           John’s gaze went from Wade and Kelsey and then back to Wade.  “You’ve met Kelsey?”

           “Yes.”

           “He ran into me when I was going to pick up Hannah,” Kelsey said, narrowing her eyes.

           “Is she the one that you-?”

           Wade nodded.  “Ms. Meyer, I’m sorry again.”

           “I’m more worry about my daughter right now.”  Kelsey tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

           “I know, Kelsey,” John said.  “I hope you two don’t mind Dr. Ramsey being here.”

           Kelsey and Hannah both shook their heads.

           “Good.” 

           Wade retreated to a corner and leaned against the wall, his gaze switching from Hannah’s face to Kelsey’s.

           John moved a stool and sat down in front of a trembling Hannah.  “How’s my favorite patient?”

Hannah hunched forward.  “Awful.   My tummy hurts.”

           “The school nurse said it might be a stomach bug,” Kelsey said.

           John nodded.  “It is going around.”   He checked Hannah’s eyes, ears, and throat before taking his stethoscope from around his neck.  “Okay.  Breathe in and out for me, Hannah.”

           Hannah did what she was told as John listened to her heart and lungs.

          He placed his hand on her stomach, and Hannah grimaced, scrunching her pug nose.  “Um, has she vomited?”

          “Yes, four times,” Kelsey told him.  “Three times at school and once on the way here.  She also had diarrhea.”

          “Um, huh.”  John began typing on the tablet.  “I’m afraid it is the stomach bug.  I’m ordering her something to calm her stomach.  The bug is a twenty-four-hour one, but Hannah will likely be weak for a couple of days.  Make sure she gets plenty of fluids.   The prescription should be ready when you get to the pharmacy.  If it isn’t, call me.”

          “Thank you, John.”  She stroked Hannah’s hair.  

          “Anytime.  You know that.”  John glanced down at Hannah and patted her head.  “Bye, sweetie.  I hope you’ll feel better.”

         She lifted her head, shaking her long blonde hair from her brown eyes.  “T-thanks.  Bye.”

         Wade moved from the corner and opened the door.

         Kelsey put her purse on her shoulder and struggled to maneuver the heavy power wheelchair out of the small room, trying not to hit anything.

          John and Wade moved the stools out of the way.

          “Do you need help pushing Hannah, Ms. Meyer?” Wade asked, wanting to be useful and to make up for hitting her van.

          “No.  I can manage, but thanks anyway.  I’m going to try to drive it.”

          She kicked up the levers on each side and flipped the switch behind the joystick.  Wade heard her mutter to Hannah to hold on before driving the chair.  

          Wade and John watched them leave.

          “Now, do you understand why I didn’t want you to see Hannah by yourself?”

          “Yes,” Wade said, rubbing his arms as a chill went through him.

          “Hannah looks like Christina did when she was ten.  With brown eyes and blonde hair.”  Wade chuckled, ignoring the lump forming in his throat.  “I used to call her my brown-eyed girl.  She loved that Van Morrison’s song.  She thought I helped him write it for her, remember?”    

          “I remember.  Christina was quite a kid.”

          Wade nodded.  ”She was so trusting and innocent.”  She deserved better than me.

          John patted his shoulder.  “I’m going to call Rose and tell her I won’t be home until later.”

          Wade faced the older man.  “You don’t have to stay here.  Go home.  Spend time with your wife.  It’s your anniversary, and I heard that you haven’t left early in years.”

          John studied him for a long moment, scratching his beard.  “Are you sure?”

          Wade squared his shoulders.  “Positive.  Working helps me.”

          “All right.”  John smiled.  “I’ll try to call you tonight.”

          “I’ll be fine.”  Wade stepped into the hallway and turned to John. “Send my love to Rose.”

          “Okay.” 

 

***

 

          Wade arrived home at seven o’clock.  He dropped his bag by the door, tossed the keys on a small table, leaned against the door, and rubbed his tired eyes.

          I needed a hot shower and then go to bed.

          After the shock of seeing Hannah, he had been too busy to think about Christina, but now memories of her flashed through his mind.

          Wade helped nine-year-old Christina get on her purple bike.  “Are you ready to try to ride it by yourself?”

          Christina shook her head, making her pigtails hit her cheeks, and her tears welled in her eyes.   Hands on either side of her head, she started rocking herself back and forth.  “I’m scared.  Want to, but scared.  Bad kids tease me a lot.  Maybe I’m too dumb to ride a bike."

           “No, you aren’t.”  He caressed her back, making her relax and set his jaw, trying to keep his anger at bay.  Many times he wished those kids could spend a day in Christina’s shoes, and then maybe they would understand how frustrated she feels about not learning fast as a normal child.  Knowing it wouldn’t do Christina any good to think about them right then, he sucked in a haggard breath and kissed her right temple.  “How about we do what we have done before?  I will hold you up and help you steer while you pedal.”

           She nodded.

           After fifteen minutes, she said, “I want to try by myself.”

          “Are you sure?”

           “Yeah.”  She smiled a little.

           “Ready?”

           “Yep.”

            He tightened her helmet chin strap.  “I’ll be behind you.”

            Wade watched Christina as she gripped the handlebars and pedaled down the driveway.  She wobbled some, and Wade prepared himself to catch her.  He jogged beside her, cheering and clapping.  His heart burst with pride, knowing she finally got the hang of bike riding, and he helped.

            Christina stopped at the end of the cul-de-sac.  “I did it!”  She pumped her fists in the air and laughed.

            “I know!  I’m so proud of you!”  He hugged her, then lifted her and spun her around.

            “I want to show Mama when she comes home.”  Putting Christina back on the bike, Wade helped her turn towards the house.

             Snapping back to the present, he felt the guilt of not keeping Christina safe gnawing inside of him once again.  He thought he had forgiven himself, but now he wondered if he ever would.

             Lord, please help me forgive myself.  He dried his tears.

             His thoughts turned to Kelsey.  She’d caressed Hannah’s hand when John was examining her.  He could tell she didn’t like seeing her daughter in pain because she’d fought back her tears.  In the past, he had seen mothers worrying about their children, but                   Kelsey’s tenderness and caring nature drew him in.  He found himself hoping she would be a part of his life.

             Wade’s stomach growled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten since breakfast.  He stalked to the kitchen and looked through the sliding door.  Seeing boxes stacked up on the back porch, he made a mental note to take them to the recycling center soon as he could.               He opened the freezer, took out one of the frozen dinners, and popped it into the microwave.

             While the food heated, he moved the last box off the counter.  A picture stuck on the bottom of it dropped to the floor.  He hesitated with slow motions, put down the box and leaned down to pick up the photo.

             A lump caught in his throat.

            He and Christina, from fifteen years ago, stared back.  He wore his high school graduation gown, smiling widely, and giving a thumbs-up while she wore a blue sundress, smiling and draping her arm around his waist.

            Wade caressed a finger across Christina’s pretty face.  “I miss you, baby sis.”